You know, I feel like I have never really accomplished anything with much discipline, and thus, nothing really noteworthy. It's apparently a practice, not a natural ability; but even the practice feels to me like the furthest-away, most difficult thing I could ever imagine attaining.
Mom has been saying for years that I lack self-discipline. I do not deny this fact, but lack the personal motivation and, yes, self-discipline to change it.
I feel like I have named my disease, but how to treat it is unknown...the next step...
"But where do we go from here, the words are comin' out all weird..."
Second thing:
I've been trying everyday to figure out what is wrong with me, how I'm going to be happy. And I realized it is just because I have no real talent; talent is be able to do something well, and doing something well usually requires this self-discipline that I lack. (There are always the exceptions, though; but waiting to find out if I am some sort of savant isn't working. I am just not.)
I guess I just have to drag my feet on, pick one foot up after the other until I get somewhere, hopefully far away from this point in my life which is more or less a point in my character. And from what I can gather, that is the only way to change.
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ReplyDeletethe unfortunately thing about life is that, as humans, we are bound by time. even when we think we are 'still' and not moving/changing/et cetera, at least biology has a way of proving us wrong (getting older, blood flowing, heart pumping kinda stuff)
ReplyDeletethe important thing to remember is that since you are not given the luxury of standing still, you need to move in the right direction. if you don't know what the RIGHT direction is: pick a direction. any direction. you'll find out, soon enough, if it's the right or wrong one.
I totally understand, I am not a self motivation person nor am I very disciplined either. It's been my issue for years, but one day, if you truly desire to change and keep seeking a way to change then it'll click. I've been able to change my lack of motivation in dieting and exersise but there is still so many things I just can't seem to get motivated to make myself do and continue doing. I'm trying to figure that one out now!
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