on the road again.

We are now en route to St. Louis, where I will spend hours (hopefully) ogling over Monet, Picasso, and Gougan in the art museum of my childhood. There will hopefully be Vietnamese food somewhere in there as well. But all that is for later…

My mind has been busy today, and all of the above (or below, as I think I’m going to make this a separate blog) writing was planned out in my head last night as I lay awake in the hotel room shared with my grandparents and third sibling, grandpa and sibling snoring away too loudly for my sleep.

Driving through this flat region between Colorado and Kansas, and Kansas and Missouri, I can see so incredibly far ahead of me. And if only life was like that…

It would be a mixed blessing, if anything. Because, on one hand, I think of my future, ten years from now, what will my life be like? Who will I love, who will be dead to me? Who will be dead in general? I know nothing, although I exist too often in the future.

I thought earlier today about the meaning of “living in the now,” and it reoccurred to me that what we call “present” is actually simply the passing of time from the past into the future. I have thought of this before, that there is nothing else. I may have the notion that something is “present,” and by the time the synapses amongst neurons in my brain have occurred, I have realized, it is not present at all, but past. And if you mentally consider anything as foresight or future, after it has been thought, is it not past because of the same principle that time is ever-passing.

So, I cannot exist too often in the future. There is no tangible future, only the notion thereof, which is simply occurring in the passing of time. Only the thoughts which have not been thought, but perhaps predetermined, that are really the future and thus intangible.

“Happiness is a crock of beans”